Where Everybody's Crazy

I said I'd write about banks. The banking system here is interesting - in some ways it's quite advanced, and in many, many others it's way behind the UK banks. Which is saying something.

First, the good parts - you can pay money into an ATM. Even coins. I've started dumping all my change back into an ATM at the end of the day, when I remember, to help me save money. You can also feed a bill into an ATM and it will pay the bill and print you out a receipt. You can transfer money using an ATM.

But the ATM will close at 9pm. Or earlier. I don't know why this is, as I can't see any sensible commentary about it, just depressed and cynical expats.

International transfers, foreign cheques, any kind of international banking - if you haven't got a Citibank account, just give up. If you have, prepare for extortionate charges. Last time I needed to do an international transfer, I did it by withdrawing 2000 pounds worth of cash at the airport ATM and getting on the plane with it.

On Monday, I went into the bank to try to recover a long dormant account. So I went in without a cash card or bank book, without knowing the account number, and only having the sketchiest idea of the account's branch. Add onto this the fact that the account was registered to an address I haven't lived in for seven years, and that the last time I used the account, it was actually with another bank which has since been taken over. I knew I was in for the long haul.

An hour of sitting around, and the clerk calls me over. "We've found your account, sir, and changed the address and will be sending you a new passbook. There's just one problem."

Uhoh.

"You filled in all the forms today as 'Simon Cozens'. Unfortunately, your account is registered to 'SIMON COZENS', which is why it took so long to find it. Could you fill in the forms again, using upper case this time?"